So Far Apart 2-2-99Miles away
so hard to reach.
If only I could see
your eyes, your smile.
If only I could touch
your hands, your skin.
If only I could meet
the person I've dreamed I'd meet.
Expressions 2-5-99
I can't help but to smile
when you turn my way.
It's contagious the way you smile,
each and every day.
I can tell what you're thinking
by the expression on your face.
No matter if you're happy
or in the middle of a "chase".
You might not impress
everyone in sight.
But you make my happiness
reach its highest height.
"Me" Poem (It was for poetry class that I did really quickly-it's just
describing me) 2-6-99
Graceful as a butterfly
Hyper as a squirrel.
Jumpy like a frog
Peaceful as a bird.
Cheerful many days
Unhappy is rare.
Something always happens
Even just a stare.
(this part is just something I added to it, but it doesn't go with it...it just came to
mind but wasn't really a poem so I put it with the "me" poem)
Optimistic is my goal
and I believe in dreams.
If only people wouldn't
play life by teams.
Say You'll be There 2-21-99
I need you at times
when no one else is right.
Sometimes I just need someone
whether it's day or night.
You seem to always say
what I need to hear.
It takes someone like you
to put me back in gear.
It's not just your words
but when you smile and stare.
Please just say to me,
say you'll be there.
(No Name) 3-2-99
You have a smile
that brightens my day.
You seem to always be
looking my way.
I've looked at your eyes
countless times.
When we both stare
I seem to hear chimes.
You have a girlfriend
and she deserves you.
But it still doesn't change
my feelings that are true.
And 'yes' I feel guilty
for liking the "best friend"
but that's just something
that I cannot mend.
Only Way Out 4-26-99
I can't live with the image anymore.
I hide my face from the reflection.
I cry at the thoughts that I'm thinking.
There's no other way to escape.
I stare and cry hoping this will disappear.
But the image continues to look into my eyes.
There's no other path to take down this dead-end raod.
Everything is perfect and nothing could be better.
Except for that relfelection that glances back at me.
It's wrong and upsetting to myself and others,
but his is my choice-my helpless decision.
Changes 4-30-99
So confused and hurt inside
I break down and start to cry.
My feelings are all so mixed
It seems as if they can't be fixed.
Love, friendship, images, and more
Why can't I just shut the door?
The sun is shining oh so bright
I wish I could be guided by the light.
Thoughts and worries cross my mind
I'm glad there's people so caring and kind.
Everything seems so bottled and trapped
I just feel like I'm going to snap.
Why does everything have to change?
It's not just one thing, it's like a varied range.
Love and warmth flow throughout me
But deep inside it's hard to see.
Everything is taking control
why don't they just take my soul?
No More Chances 6-13-99
Shared laughter
and cries of joy.
Hugs and kisses
smiles and more.
You watched me grow
as you kept lighting up.
You ruined your lungs
and your chance in life.
You layed in that bed
being watched with fear.
While I was at home
not knowing what was near.
I woke up the next morning
and my mom came in the door.
She told me something surprising
that you weren't living anymore.
A Summer's Beach 8-4-99
Glancing into the turquoise waters
as white sparkling sands smooth over my feet.
The clear blue sky looks flawless
with butterflies of all colors flying above me.
Birds glide across the ocean free of worries.
and happines gleams brightly on children's faces.
Joys of laughter are heard from miles down the beach.
as dogs play happily chasing balls and children.
The sun heats the warm air and a breeze blows slowly by
while loves walk hand in hand as waves crash beside them.
A New Love 8-29-99
When our eyes met
I knew you were the one.
I think about you day and night
the rising and setting of the sun.
You whisper words into my ear
that make my heart beat fast.
You took me by the hand
and told me to forget the past.
You always know what to say
and what I need to hear.
When I began to cry that day
you wiped away my tear.
You told me that you loved me
and how much I meant to you.
What has happend has happend you said
together we can start something new.
I Keep Coming Back 9-10-99
You seemed to have changed
so I took you back.
But I think I made a mistake
because there's something that you lack.
Whenever we're not together
there's something that's not there.
So I go back to you
but it's just not fair.
I keep thinking you'll fill that hole
but you don't even come near.
I give you more and more chances
but I always end up with a tear.
I keep trying to have you in my life
but I always have a big doubt.
I try to exclude you from it
and it still doesn't work out.
I can't live with this
but I can't live without you.
I'm being pulled in different directions
and I have no idea what to do.
You Need to Choose 9-22-99
You told me you can't trust me
but I know I can trust you
There's something wrong with this
and I don't know what to do.
Why do you keep making me happy
and then change your mood?
You hold me and don't let go
then tell me that I'm screwed.
I'm sick of dealing with this
so you need to choose a side.
Is it going to be the sweet one
or the one that always lied?
I keep thinking it's only a phase
and that the old you will come back.
But I guess I'm fooling myself
because there's a lot that you still lack.
You know how much I like you
and I want to say it's love.
But I"m sorry because I can't.
I'll just have to pray to up above.
The Unchangeable Kiss 10-4-99
The moment was so perfect
the sun setting over the sea.
A sky of many colors
floating above me.
We sat on the shore
our hands holding tight.
You looked at me and smiled
with your face gleaming so bright.
I felt a gentle touch
your lips against mine.
It happend once more
so I knew that was a sign.
I wasn't sure what kind of kiss
you were trying to do.
I thought it was just a quick one
but this was something new.
I got so confused inside
and I felt like I couldn't move.
So then I just tried my best
I don't know what I was trying to prove.
When we both moved away
and let our lips release
we both started to laugh
and then there was an awkward peace.
I couldn't think of what to do
or anything to say.
I wish we could start over
and forget what happend that day.
Wrong Turn 10-10-99
You're taking me for a crazy drive
down a road we've been down before.
The last time we drove this way
I was about to slam your face in the door.This road is too bumpy and curvy
and brings tears to my eyes.
I got so confused that night
that I almost said my good-byes.
Why do you keep taking me this way?
it only brings out all of the hate.
Instead of taking that turn
you should have continued to go straight.
But now that you've driven this way
and you have so much that you lack,
I guess that's a sign
that there's no way back.
Tears of Shame 10-10-99
Everyone says that he's changed
and he's not that same guy anymore.
I don't want to believe them
but I know that it's true.
I'm trying to convince myself
that he's only going through a phase.
But deep down inside I know
that what I'm doing is wrong.
I just want us to be together
and never have to part.
But the way he's treating me
it's like he's playing a game.
I just keep wishing
that he'll change back.
But I know in my heart
that he's staying the same.
And I know I should stop trying
to convince myself that he'll change.
But it's harder to do
then to speak the words.
I love him with all my heart
and I care about him deeply.
I just wish he would showme
that he feels the same way.
Tears fall down my face
as I try to uncover the answer.
But my heart continutes
to be filled with hopes and shame.
All Over Again 10-27-99
It's happening again
and I can't control it
If I could, I swear I would,
but I'm not being given the choice.
I love you with all my heart
and I truly mean it.
But I like him too
even though I shouldn't.
I can't tell you
because this happend before.
I told you I liked you more
but deep down I didn't know.
I'm not sure this time
exactly how much I do.
But I know for a fact
that I like you more.
I don't want to go
through this again.
It caused me so much pain
that I cried every night.
If I tell you this time
you'll avoid or ignore me.
I don't want
that to happen this time.
I hope it's a passing crush
and everything will be okay.
But to tell you the truth
I'm not sure if it is.
Maybe if you kiss me
or do something unexpectedly
then I'll realize
you're as good as it gets.
Or I'll remember
all the happy times in the past.
This could all depend on you
or maybe nature will just take its course.
Whichever it is
I hope we stay together forever.