The sound of your voice
makes me feel safe.
Your words and guidence
make it all seem okay.
You're there for me
when times get bad.
I can't think of a time
when you made me feel sad.
You have that special way
that no one else can see.
If only people could realize
what you've done for me.

(No Name) 2-2-99

Your eyes sparkle
in the gleaming light.
Your smile warms
the ice-cold air.
I glance your way
you turn toward me.
We stare for seconds-
no one else in sight.

Trapped Thoughts 2-2-99

Late at night
I lay in my bed-
    thinking.
Many thoughts
cross my mind,
but none too pleasing.
They stay inside me
all bottled up.
Too hard to say
too afraid.
Trapped inside
until the bottle-
bursts.

Rejection 2-2-99

I pour out
my heart and soul
like raindrops
falling from the sky.
I give you
all I can give,
but all I get in return
is a teardrop on my cheek

True Feelings 3-23-99

I'm not sure how you feel
but I love you with all my heart.
I never knew you had feelings for me,
and now i hope we never part.
Sitting on the grass or walking on the beach,
I wish I had the courage to just reach.
You make me feel so comfortable
and quiet and calm inside.
The hardest part of all of this
is what and how to decide.
I might be inexperienced
and have no idea what to expect,
but I do know what my true feelings are
and yours I'll always respect.

Emotions 3-24-99

I'm paranoid
about our relationship
I'm scared
that i'll make the wrong move.
I'm afraid
that you'll lose interest someday.
I want
everything to just go smooth.
I'm worried
that I'll become a different person.
I hope
that I don't change in your eyes.
I want
to just remain calm and worry-free.
I want to grow
closer and closer until the day we die.
I hope
we stay together-forever.

What Now? 3-25-99

I want to just hold your hand
and see how you'll react.
I don't know what else to do
to see what to do next.
I'm all happy and cheerful inside
and relieved that this day came.
There are just so many things to decide
I wonder if you feel the same.

Always and Forever 4-6-99

You and I were meant to be.
Together forever is what I see.
I would stare at you all day.
I promise that I'll always stay.
Far or near or across the hall,
I'll help you up when you fall.
When you're near or out of site,
I just want to be with you day and night.
Maybe we aren't perfect or look out of place,
but just one of your smiles lights up my face.

Together Forever 4-16-99

Your touch, your smile
your playful tease.
Your words, your expressions
your succession to please.
The more I get to know you,
the more I want to know.
The closer that we get,
the fast I want to go.
I get a funny tingling
when we get so near.
But it's a feeling of happiness
comfort, warmth and cheer.
When your arm is around me
and we're both leaning in,
I never want to move a muscle
or else my heart will go thin.
I hope we never come to the time
when we have to go our separate ways.
I would be devastated and upset,
I might cry for several days.

Angel of Love 4-20-99

That special one
that you've waited for all your life.
Finally this angel
has flown into your heart.
A tingle feeling develops inside you.
You look into their eyes
and suddenly it all becomes a blur.
Everything is so perfect
and nothing could make you feel better.
When this angel smiles
the whole world smiles with it.
You touch this angel
and feel a soft, gentle touch.
You know this angel
Is perfect and delicate in every way.
You would do
almost anything for this angel.
Your angel
is your one true love.

Where Did the Love Go?

You told me lies
you could not keep.
You told me you loved me
but that you were in too deep.
I reached out my hand
and you pulled away.
You said you'd call me
but there always seemed to be a delay.
You hugged me one minute
and ignored me the next.
I can't understand why
I can't call you my ex.
I used to think about you
and stare at you all day.
But now when you're near me
I just try and move away.
I know I should tell you
that I can't go on like this.
But I know there's something
that I would really miss.
I'm not sure what it is
and maybe I'll never know.
But for now I will just wait
and think about which way to go.

Why?  9-19-99

You have changed
from one person to two.
I don't know what's happening
and I don't know what to do.
You're playing with my heart
and messing with my mind.
I don't want to tell you
because the answer I need to find.
You were so sweet before
and almost the perfect guy.
But now you get me happy
and then you make me cry.
I keep coming to this point
and I'm confused for days.
I decide to stay with you
but it never pays.
I can't let you go
because of how happy you can make me feel.
I want to stay with you
but I can't always deal.
Why can't you go back
to the way you used to be?
can't you do it
for the sake of you and me?

Something New 9-29-99

I've discovered something new
that I never thought I'd find.
You have made it possible
and the feelings won't leave my mind.
I've never felt this way
but I'm glad that I do.
I hope you're going through this
because I know you'll like it too.
I go to bed and wake up
watching you smile at me.
Just as long as you're happy
that's all I need to see.
This feeling deep within me
has been gleaming on the outside.
It overwhelms me so much
that I begin to cry.
Just about a week ago
I was mad at how you changed.
But this time I'm crying
because your feelings rearranged.
Many people would tell me
that infatuation is the sound.
But I know what it truly is
it's love that I've found.

10-7-99

Why do you keep adding
to the grieft I go through everyday?
Out of all the people I know
I thought you would be the one to say
how much you love and care for me
beyond the deepest bluest sea.
If only you could realize
how much it all adds up to.
With everyone getting on my nerves
and then I heard the voice of you.
You know how much I love you
and I never want to part.
But you really need to understand
that you're playing with my heart.

10-9-99

If you love me
why won't you tell me?
All I want
is just a kiss
or a hug from the heart.
Why do you keep playing me
like I'm a fool?
I'm not that kind of girl
so quit playin' like it's a duel.
I just want a guy
who doesn't go through "mood swings".
I guy who will treat me
like an angel with wings.
I thought you were that guy
and you were for a short time.
Then I realize who you were
and so I changed my mind.
You hug me and love me
and never let me fall.
Then you ignore me and insult me
and stop all the calls.
Who are you really?
Cuz I need to know.
I refuse to go on like this.
Which way should I go?

10-16-99

I felt like I could have
cheated on you last night.
If one of those guys
wanted to sit with me
it would have been alright.
I know it's wrong
to do that to you.
But what you're doing
to me is wrong too.
You asked how the movie was
and I explained my night.
I left out my feelings
toward all those guys in sight.
All you said was "oh"
as if you really didn't care.
I think I have a better time
when you're not there.
You could have come last night
and acted like we were going out.
But you chose not to
so flirting was what I was about.
I think it's a sign
that I want to be free.
Free from all the crap
that you've given me.
Making me happy
like no other guy.
Then letting me down
and making me cry.
I want to stay with you
for those happy times.
But I want to be single
and flirt with the guys.
You make me want to
but it's also the way I am.
Maybe I could have had
a change with one of them.
I don't want to make
the wrong decision this time.
Which was it right?
Living the single life
or putting up with the fight?

11-2-99 I'm Sorry

I'm so sorry for putting you
in the position that I did.
I wish that it didn't happen
but at least it's over with.
I seem to often wonder
if what I say is true.
And I wonder almost just as much
if you mean those things too.
Maybe that's the reason why
I act a certain way.
It could be why I think
about my feelings everyday.
I realize that doing this to you
isn't exactly right.
But I always decide to stay with you
and I know that it feels right.
That must prove my feelings toward you
and show how much I care.
Please decide to stay with me
because I can't stand it when you're not there.

Miles away
so hard to reach.
If only I could see
your eyes, your smile.
If only I could touch
your hands, your skin.
If only I could meet
the person I've dreamed I'd meet.

Expressions 2-5-99

I can't help but to smile
when you turn my way.
It's contagious the way you smile,
each and every day.
I can tell what you're thinking
by the expression on your face.
No matter if you're happy
or in the middle of a "chase".
You might not impress
everyone in sight.
But you make my happiness
reach its highest height.

"Me" Poem (It was for poetry class that I did really quickly-it's just describing me) 2-6-99

Graceful as a butterfly
Hyper as a squirrel.
Jumpy like a frog
Peaceful as a bird.
Cheerful many days
Unhappy is rare.
Something always happens
Even just a stare.

(this part is just something I added to it, but it doesn't go with it...it just came to mind but wasn't really a poem so I put it with the "me" poem)

Optimistic is my goal
and I believe in dreams.
If only people wouldn't
play life by teams.

Say You'll be There 2-21-99

I need you at times
when no one else is right.
Sometimes I just need someone
whether it's day or night.
You seem to always say
what I need to hear.
It takes someone like you
to put me back in gear.
It's not just your words
but when you smile and stare.
Please just say to me,
say you'll be there.

(No Name) 3-2-99

You have a smile
that brightens my day.
You seem to always be
looking my way.
I've looked at your eyes
countless times.
When we both stare
I seem to hear chimes.
You have a girlfriend
and she deserves you.
But it still doesn't change
my feelings that are true.
And 'yes' I feel guilty
for liking the "best friend"
but that's just something
that I cannot mend.

Only Way Out 4-26-99

I can't live with the image anymore.
I hide my face from the reflection.
I cry at the thoughts that I'm thinking.
There's no other way to escape.

I stare and cry hoping this will disappear.
But the image continues to look into my eyes.
There's no other path to take down this dead-end raod.

Everything is perfect and nothing could be better.
Except for that relfelection that glances back at me.
It's wrong and upsetting to myself and others,
but his is my choice-my helpless decision.

Changes 4-30-99

So confused and hurt inside
I break down and start to cry.
My feelings are all so mixed
It seems as if they can't be fixed.
Love, friendship, images, and more
Why can't I just shut the door?
The sun is shining oh so bright
I wish I could be guided by the light.
Thoughts and worries cross my mind
I'm glad there's people so caring and kind.
Everything seems so bottled and trapped
I just feel like I'm going to snap.
Why does everything have to change?
It's not just one thing, it's like a varied range.
Love and warmth flow throughout me
But deep inside it's hard to see.
Everything is taking control
why don't they just take my soul?

No More Chances 6-13-99

Shared laughter
and cries of joy.
Hugs and kisses
smiles and more.
You watched me grow
as you kept lighting up.
You ruined your lungs
and your chance in life.
You layed in that bed
being watched with fear.
While I was at home
not knowing what was near.
I woke up the next morning
and my mom came in the door.
She told me something surprising
that you weren't living anymore.

A Summer's Beach 8-4-99

Glancing into the turquoise waters
as white sparkling sands smooth over my feet.
The clear blue sky looks flawless
with butterflies of all colors flying above me.
Birds glide across the ocean free of worries.
and happines gleams brightly on children's faces.
Joys of laughter are heard from miles down the beach.
as dogs play happily chasing balls and children.
The sun heats the warm air and a breeze blows slowly by
while loves walk hand in hand as waves crash beside them.

A New Love 8-29-99

When our eyes met
I knew you were the one.
I think about you day and night
the rising and setting of the sun.
You whisper words into my ear
that make my heart beat fast.
You took me by the hand
and told me to forget the past.
You always know what to say
and what I need to hear.
When I began to cry that day
you wiped away my tear.
You told me that you loved me
and how much I meant to you.
What has happend has happend you said
together we can start something new.

I Keep Coming Back 9-10-99

You seemed to have changed
so I took you back.
But I think I made a mistake
because there's something that you lack.
Whenever we're not together
there's something that's not there.
So I go back to you
but it's just not fair.
I keep thinking you'll fill that hole
but you don't even come near.
I give you more and more chances
but I always end up with a tear.
I keep trying to have you in my life
but I always have a big doubt.
I try to exclude you from it
and it still doesn't work out.
I can't live with this
but I can't live without you.
I'm being pulled in different directions
and I have no idea what to do.

You Need to Choose 9-22-99

You told me you can't trust me
but I know I can trust you
There's something wrong with this
and I don't know what to do.
Why do you keep making me happy
and then change your mood?
You hold me and don't let go
then tell me that I'm screwed.
I'm sick of dealing with this
so you need to choose a side.
Is it going to be the sweet one
or the one that always lied?
I keep thinking it's only a phase
and that the old you will come back.
But I guess I'm fooling myself
because there's a lot that you still lack.
You know how much I like you
and I want to say it's love.
But I"m sorry because I can't.
I'll just have to pray to up above.

The Unchangeable Kiss 10-4-99

The moment was so perfect
the sun setting over the sea.
A sky of many colors
floating above me.
We sat on the shore
our hands holding tight.
You looked at me and smiled
with your face gleaming so bright.
I felt a gentle touch
your lips against mine.
It happend once more
so I knew that was a sign.
I wasn't sure what kind of kiss
you were trying to do.
I thought it was just a quick one
but this was something new.
I got so confused inside
and I felt like I couldn't move.
So then I just tried my best
I don't know what I was trying to prove.
When we both moved away
and let our lips release
we both started to laugh
and then there was an awkward peace.
I couldn't think of what to do
or anything to say.
I wish we could start over
and forget what happend that day.

Wrong Turn 10-10-99

You're taking me for a crazy drive
down a road we've been down before.
The last time we drove this way
I was about to slam your face in the door.This road is too bumpy and curvy
and brings tears to my eyes.
I got so confused that night
that I almost said my good-byes.
Why do you keep taking me this way?
it only brings out all of the hate.
Instead of taking that turn
you should have continued to go straight.
But now that you've driven this way
and you have so much that you lack,
I guess that's a sign
that there's no way back.

Tears of Shame 10-10-99

Everyone says that he's changed
and he's not that same guy anymore.
I don't want to believe them
but I know that it's true.
I'm trying to convince myself
that he's only going through a phase.
But deep down inside I know
that what I'm doing is wrong.
I just want us to be together
and never have to part.
But the way he's treating me
it's like he's playing a game.
I just keep wishing
that he'll change back.
But I know in my heart
that he's staying the same.
And I know I should stop trying
to convince myself that he'll change.
But it's harder to do
then to speak the words.
I love him with all my heart
and I care about him deeply.
I just wish he would showme
that he feels the same way.
Tears fall down my face
as I try to uncover the answer.
But my heart continutes
to be filled with hopes and shame.

All Over Again 10-27-99

It's happening again
and I can't control it
If I could, I swear I would,
but I'm not being given the choice.
I love you with all my heart
and I truly mean it.
But I like him too
even though I shouldn't.
I can't tell you
because this happend before.
I told you I liked you more
but deep down I didn't know.
I'm not sure this time
exactly how much I do.
But I know for a fact
that I like you more.
I don't want to go
through this again.
It caused me so much pain
that I cried every night.
If I tell you this time
you'll avoid or ignore me.
I don't want
that to happen this time.
I hope it's a passing crush
and everything will be okay.
But to tell you the truth
I'm not sure if it is.
Maybe if you kiss me
or do something unexpectedly
then I'll realize
you're as good as it gets.
Or I'll remember
all the happy times in the past.
This could all depend on you
or maybe nature will just take its course.
Whichever it is
I hope we stay together forever.